Rest in Peace, my little friend...

I have not laid ink to paper in about week. This in and of itself makes me very sad. But the reason I have been away from my work table is heartbreaking. You see, last Wednesday evening, my little old man kitty, Hunter, had a nosebleed. At first, I thought he had scratched his nose against something sharp, so I looked him over very carefully, much to his dismay. I could not find a scratch, but it did not appear that the blood was coming from the inside of his nose. There was not a lot of blood, so it was easy to dismiss it as a result of kitty mischief. He was in good spirits and went on about his normal feline antics. The next night, he had another nosebleed. Now I was greatly concerned.

A trip to the vet the next morning turned all my fears into a reality. An x-ray showed that Hunter had a tumor the size of the tip of my thumb in his nasal passage. Anyone with cats knows that their nasal passages are not very big, so this was very serious. Surgery was not an option and radiation on a 19 year old cat is usually not successful, so we brought Hunter home, made him comfortable, loved on him, and waited. It was the longest 4 days of my life and felt like an eternity. He had a reasonably good weekend, all things considered. Monday was a very good day, as he still had energy to jump into my lap for a love-fest, and nuzzle my hand for pets and scratches. His little nose continued to bleed off and on, but he did not seem to be in any pain. Tuesday afternoon, things changed for the worse. He was not responsive when I spoke his name. A scratch on the head elicited no response. It was his way of telling me, it was time. He was tired and ready to move on. My sister made the sad trek to the vet with me this morning and he laid in my lap while Dr. Walker took him on the next steps of his journey. It felt as if my sister and I would flood that little room with our sobs and our tears.

Today my heart is broken into a million tiny pieces. Hunter gave me so much joy during his life and I am very lucky that he chose me to share his years with. You see, 18 years ago I had gone to the animal shelter in search of my siamese kitty who had disappeared. I was distraught over losing her. As I walked through the cages of adoptables, a furry paw reached out of one of the cages and touched my shoulder. It was Hunter. I had not gone into the shelter that day planning on taking anyone home except for Chelsea, if she happened to be there; however, one look into those big gold/green eyes and I had to hold him. When I picked him up, he clung to me like a child and I knew I could not leave him there. We had somehow connected in just that instance. The tag on his cage estimated his age was between 1-3 years old. From that day forward, he filled my days with his lively personality, his obviously regal good looks, and knowing glances that silently said "silly human, what are you up to now"? Hunter gave me 18 years of heartfelt joy and unconditional love, and I cannot ask for more than that.

In closing, let me share with you a Hopi prayer that I happen to have on a rubber stamp, that makes me think of my feline friend:

Do not stand
by my grave and weep.
I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints
of snow.
I am the sunlight
on ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.

When you awaken
in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet
birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars
that shine in the night.
Do not stand
by my grave and weep.
I am not there.
I do not sleep.

Rest in peace, my little friend. I will keep you in my heart forever.